a writing rant at 11pm ie emily fails miserably at life | adventures in writing

Hello my children.

this is going to be me ranting at y’all about the struggle i am having trying (and failing) to write an actual outline to my novel and possibly come up with some actual plot ideas. i hope you enjoy.

as another note. this is going to be written without capital letters because i’m using my tablet and it takes too long to try and work it out like that. so yes. have fun reading this fun lil rant-y thing i’ve compiled for y’all!


i just wanted cute gays to get together. and sweet trans kids to be accepted. but i also wanted stabby things. and sparkles. like, jewel sparkles. and gold sparkles. or sparkly stabby things for cute trans gays. also, i wanted nature in there. I wanted some tension in there. and also some stars and flowers. just because i like those things. and if i could include some kind of paper plane too that’d be fun. like,,,they go and like,,,communicate to each other through like,,,paper planes. anyway. but there must also be some death. but not too much death. or blood. i want some kinda soft angst. and then some really not soft at all angst. but you cannot get that actual balance right because it’s like,,,difficult and i don’t like,,,have the patience to like,,,learn to skills of that. anyway. i also want some cute gayness. and i need some levels of vulnerability for the characters to be created. i want some silly sword fighting. but also characters not getting along. but also huge gun battles and gunshots shrieking through the sky and exploding in the dust on the other side of a battle field. i need some silly moments when everyone is just sitting around laughing and having fun. and then others when they’re all in tears and it’s just raw and sad and awful. i want it to feel like there are times when the entire world is ending because i’m struggling to write so much and the characters are mimicking what i’m feeling and it’s just awful. but then it all carries on. OH! and i want music in there,,,like,,,one of them playing music but,,,like,,,the others not knowing. and then they find out. and they’re like,,,super impressed. and it’s something soft like a flue or a piano or something and everyone is super like,,,shocked and it’s real nice. there needs to be some amount of heartbreak and then reparation (is that a word? (it is now)) of said heart. i want sweet and tender moments followed by moments or chaos and urgency. i want war but then also like,,,calm. i want pirates and gangs and guns and things without being clique and copying every other story line around. i want beautiful characters who love each other so intensely it isn’t funny. but then i want them to also hate each other with a passion. i want characters who grow together and learn to love each other as cute gays. i want teasing and flirting and blushing. i want others to ship the pair together but on the dl. but i don’t want it to become so much like that that it become a freaking romance or a fanfiction,,,because that’s like,,,very boring. i want to to be cute without being too cute. i want this to have moments when someone is just screaming and ranting and super upset and angry and someone else is just listening and doing something else and just like,,,nodding every now and then. i want them to have to make adult decisions at a young age and be forced to give up things they really don’t want to then. but i also want them to be children like,,,five minutes later and just be like,,,joking and playing about and shit. i want them to be loved by everyone but also like,,,piss everyone off so much they hate them all and are like,,,nope. not dealing with you today. i just wanted it all to go to plan

AND DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD THAT IS TO DO??? ESPECIALLY THAT LAST PART??? IT’S INSANE AND I DON’T GET IT OR LIKE IT OR ANYTHING.


so, that’s my little rant over. i hope you enjoyed it and actallly felt some of my struggles as a writer having to deal with cutting all those ideas down into something that hasn’t been done a thousand times over and is actually good! it’s all going great so far, i’m not really annoyed about the fact that i have no actual plot and just have characters who i’m not giving up for anything. not. at. all.

anyway, if you’re a writer, do tell me about your struggles. also your novel ideas. and whether you’re doing camp NaNoWriMo this month (i’m not). and anything else you want to talk to about your novel, do so!

and if you’re not a writer, that’s cool too. just talk to me about how your life is, what you’re doing. what your hobbies are. the like, the like.

have a good night children.
emily xo

My Little Problem With the Book I’m Currently Reading.

Long time no see!

I’m very sorry that I’ve been lacking posts recently. My excuse? School and procrastination. Mostly procrastination though. It also thw reason I haven’t emailed my coach in a month. And I’m writing this on my phone because I’m lazy and can’t be bothered trying to find my laptop. Hence the fact it’s missing missing a feature image. But who cares. Not me.

Anyway, I’m reading a book called Am I Normal Yet? by Holly Bourne. This book:

I found it in the library and the title sounded good so I got it. And I’ve been reading it. But…I. Do. Not. Like. It. One. Bit. It’s about a girl who has severe anxiety and OCD called Evie. And Evie is 16. And wants a boyfriend who cares about her. So, at school Evie finds herself a bunch of guys that are possible boyfriends and actually dates them. But, duh, she doesn’t tell them about her anxiety because she thinks they’ll hate her. And so she doesn’t tell anyone. Not. Even. Her. Friends. How stupid. And then she goes and worries about what they’ll say about her. All well and good. Fine, fine, fine. But…it’s all about guys and Evie’s anxiety. Then she gets an anxiety attack and her sister Rose sees her attacking her hands with scrubbing things. This is where it gets bad. Direct quote:

‘”It would be great if you could talk to Rose. She was really upset last night.”

“I was upset too.”

“I know…but you could’ve been more thoughtful.”‘

Now, how the flip could Evie have been more thoughtful? She can’t control when she gets an anxiety attack. It’s not her fault she had one. I found this just so, SO, SO, SO offensive. I mean, the poor girl has huge anxiety and you tell her that? What is wrong with her mother?!

Another reason for me to despise this book was that it had heaps about her wanting a guy. Because that’s what happens to 16-year-olds. They have boyfriends or girlfriends. So. Stereotypical. Also, there was so much sexism in it. The guys would go and have sex with any girl they could get their hands on and then dump them saying they were ‘just for fun’. What the flip is this about? It. Is. Just. Wrong. And an issue that was just tossed aside in the book. So, we’re not going to deal with it? No? OK then. ūüė§

And the substance abuse. There was this guy called Guy who would just go and smoke weed and then drink himself dumb. And all the girls did it too. It was just unbelievable. They would go to a party and get themselves so drunk they could do whatever they wanted and it was just so wrong. This. Is. Not. The. Usual. Teen. Culture. Well, it is, but not all teens do it. And all the teens here did.

Oh, and one more thing. The LGBTQ+ rep was so awful. The girls who had not boyfriends and hung out together were suddenly ‘lesbians’ to the rest of the flipping characters. *screams with anger* Why. Is. This. Alright? Why? Answer me that. Evie’s friends brother (who was TEN) called them lesbians. No. It was so wrong.

In short this book was for everything I’m against. And therefore I hated it. I mean, it was OK at the start but now? No. Just no.

this is up for discussion. have you read this book? what did you think of it if you did? do you get how found the stereotypes i’ve described are? i’m very sorry for the words i used if you read this blog and are young but i had to use them in the context of this post on this book.

Also, I am right out of amazing books to read an if you have any recommendations (not To Kill a Mockingbird though) I’d greatly appreciate them. And…I have got a posting schedule. I will be posting every Sunday and Thursday and maybe, just maybe, on some Saturdays! *squeals* So I will be back!

My Crochet Projects

Hi peoples,

This was yesterdays ‘later’ post, but then I realised I hadn’t finished my projects and didn’t have pictures of the finished ones to put on here, so it’s today’s post because I’ve finished the projects.¬† Did that make sense, yes, I do believe it did.¬† So I’ve got the pictures now and these are my crochet projects that are mostly finished.

Finished Projects:

I haven’t got photos, but I promise they’ll be up tomorrow when I have, you’ll just have to imagine what the projects look like!¬† Makes it more fun that way.

Easter Bunny

I made this last week when I was sick as my craft.¬† It only took me about 4 days!¬† Yes, 4 days, I know, it was super silly,¬†I probably could have and should have finished it in one, but it just took me ages because I worked on it on and off, but it was worth it as it is super adorable!¬† A super cute Easter craft for me to do.¬† And it used up the horrid wool I’ve been wanting to get rid of for ages.

Easter Eggs

These were just to put with my Easter Bunny (named Hop because it needed a name and the girls were upset because Hop wasn’t on, if you don’t know what I’m talking about, I’m talking about Hop the movie).¬† One of the eggs is tiny and the other one’s slightly bigger but they didn’t take long and used little scraps of wool up that I’d been wanting to get rid of for ages.

Little Dragon

This was yesterday’s project.¬† I saw a dragon in my Simply Crochet magazine and just knew that I had to make it.¬† So that’s what I did with the help of Google and a tutorial on it.¬† And now he’s sitting on my bed very happily.¬† The red wasn’t actually what colour he was, he was really green but I didn’t have any green, and then Mum came home and announced that she’d bought me 5 balls of wool, and one was green!¬† But he’s adorable in red and works perfectly on my black duvet.

Tissue Box Cosy Cake

This is something that’s taken me way too long, like Hop.¬† I began this tissue box cosy last week but then didn’t have any blue wool for the blueberries so had to get some, then the Warehouse didn’t have any for less than $20, which I was not prepared to pay, so Mum got me some yesterday.¬† It was very helpful and I finished it this morning.

Baby Baskets

And my last project, baby baskets, which are holding Easter eggs and hair ties at the moment, I’ve got to make more for my desk because they’re really useful.¬† The pink one it so much smaller than the blue one, so it’s an extra-baby basket!

Those are all the finished projects!  Now for the:

Almost Finished Projects:

Diamond Blanket

Anyhow, I found a pattern for diamonds in my Simply Crochet magazine and I just had to try it out, I’m using all the little scraps of wool to make the diamonds and then I’ll sew them all together and have a rainbow coloured diamond blanket!¬† I think it’ll be very good and so keep a watch for it on here.¬† I will put it on.

Name Pillows

These are my second and last projects.¬† Yes, projects.¬† I’m making crocheted name pillows, they look awesome in the pictures and so I need to make them.¬† I’ve almost finished the ‘E’ and then I’ll do the ‘L’ and ‘I’ because I’m leaving the hardest (the ‘Y’ and ‘M’) ’til last because they’re the hardest!¬† I think they’ll look cool in the end though, so they’ll be worth the work.

And those are all the projects I’m working on right now!¬† I did try about another 10 things, but they all failed and it was very sad.¬† I tried to make socks twice, a few different baskets and a couple of other little toys, but all of them failed and it was quite sad :(.¬† But oh well!

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Do you like my little projects?¬† Which is your favourite?¬† Can you crochet?¬† If so, what are you making at the moment?¬† (Elizabeth, that was directed at you mainly!)¬† Do you have any ideas for what I should make next?¬† I’ve run out of ideas now!

Bye bye,

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This is Easter-y, since it was Easter the other day. just so you know!

Triathlon

Yes.¬† Triathlon.¬† One word sentences.¬† They’re going to stop now.

There was the school triathlon today.¬† It was at school (obviously) and really, it was fun.¬† I am very proud of myself because in the run I beat the girl who had never, ever, ever been beaten in a running race.¬† That’s why I run twice daily.¬† She was a really good sportsman about it, but she beat me anyway in the rest.¬† I seem to have had a week of difficulties because I managed to muck up the bike ride.¬† Instead of doing 3 laps of the bike I managed to do 4, meaning that I did heaps more that the rest of the girls (and boys for that matter) in my age category/race.¬† The problem was that the teacher in charge confused me and I didn’t get that the half a lap that we did first counted as a whole lap, I did three whole laps and that was one full one longer than the rest of the people.¬† But, oh well.¬† I’ve sort of had a week of mishaps.¬† But so many of the girls were so nice to me about it and the teacher in charge said that she’d move me up so that my placing was where it should have been.

I’m happy with what I did though, so I don’t care about doing a lap more.¬† I’m even more pleased with myself for winning the run and keeping up with the two fastest boys in the school. I overtook one of them but then he sprinted and ended up in the same place as me.¬† I loved how so many people were so supportive and kind to me.

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Have you had a week of failures?¬† Have you ever failed in a triathlon sort of thing?¬† I can’t think of any more questions!

Goodbyeee,

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P.S. I’m not going on the school tramp, they cancelled it.

Quote IV

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I like this quote.  It makes so much sense to me in that it basically says that failure is good for you.  But at the same time it makes me think hard about it.

Moral: You can rethink things with failure.

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Do you like my quote?  Do you see why it makes so much sense?  How do you feel when you fail in life?  Does it expand you?  Make you think more?

I told you I wouldn’t run away!

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Cooking Failures

Hola mi leales seguidores,

I’m an early riser, I get up, run and then make breakfast.¬† But making breakfast can fail, it did yesterday morning, this is the recipe (I made it up) to what I was making:

Banana, chai seed and lemon porridge

Ingredients:

  • 1/4 cup milk
  • 1/4 cup water
  • 1/4 cup oats
  • 1 tsp chai seeds
  • Small handful sultanas
  • 1 small¬†banana or 1/2 a big one
  • 1 lemon
  • Brown sugar (optional, for serving)

Method:

  • Cut the banana into slices and put into a bowl.¬† Squeeze the lemon over the top of it.¬† Set aside.
  • Put the sultanas, oats, milk and water into a small pan.¬† Put on a high heat and stir until all the liquid has gone and the sultanas are plump.
  • Pour the porridge into the bowl with banana and lemon, mix together, top with brown sugar if you want and serve.

Easy recipe, right (you should try it)?¬† Well, you can guess what I did wrong, can’t you?¬† I accidentally put a little lemon juice in the cooking porridge!¬† Yes, you guessed right, I managed to curdle my breakfast!¬† The pigs were happy, but I wasn’t because then I had to re-make it, :(.¬† But yeah, cooking fails happen when you cook as much as I do, and when you make the same sort of thing everyday, one time it’s bound to go horribly wrong!

Do you like my new blog design?  I decided that it was time for a new one!  Flick through all the pages too, they get better!

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Have you had any cooking failure?  If so, what were they?  Do you like cooking?  Do you like my recipe posts?  Do you like the new design?  Tell me.

Hasta otro momento,

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P.S. I will make a cooking name badge!

P.P.S. Rutvi, what did the openings and closings of the post say?  I know you know some Spanish!

They actually said: ‘Hello my loyal followers’ and ‘Until another time’.