Hardest Post – And I’m Serious

This is going to probably definitely be the hardest post I have ever done (and will ever do, but I’ll try to keep it chatty and nice), but I feel that it needs to be done.  It was going to be done in six months time, but I expected that by that point you were all going to be getting suspicious, or would have been asking questions, or would have worked it out yourself.

I’ll get to the point fast so it doesn’t hurt so much.  Six months ago today, Ginge died.  It’s really hard to say, but it doesn’t hurt so much now.  I’m reading Saving Zoë by Alyson Noël and it says in it that there are 5 parts of grief, these are those parts:

  1. Denial
  2. Anger
  3. Bargaining
  4. Depression
  5. Acceptance

I think that six moths after Ginge’s death I’m now at stage 5, it still hurts but not as much as about three months ago when I could hardly bear to talk about it. You may have realised it because for the last six months I haven’t put one word about Ginge on here and I’m sorry about that.

Ginge died on Wednesday August 3 2016, aged 32, of, as we can work out, a heart attack.  We all knew that given her age she had to die one day, but just not then, it was just  unexpected.  The strange thing is that I had been cantering her round the paddock just two days before Mum found her dead, but Mum said that at least she would have been happy when she died, which was what was best for her.  I still can’t bring myself to go within about 2 metres of the place in the yard where we buried her, but I’m getting closer, slowly, very slowly.

If you read my project 2016, and you read to the end of the link called poems, then you would already have seen this, but if you had done that then you would have read about 32 poems before reaching this one.  I wrote it through my tears the day Ginge died.  I’m adding the poem in with it’s blurb before it.  Here is, Last Goodbyes.

And lastly, a tribute.  A tribute to my beautiful, late horse Ginge.

Gingey, you’re alive forever in my heart.

My darling, I miss you so much and always will.

So this is to you, about you, Ginge.

Rest in peace my darling.

Love forever,

Emily

Last Goodbyes:

Goodbye to you,

Goodbye my dear friend,

May you rest in peace for now.

My last goodbye this is to you,

My last goodbye, dear Ginge.

The sweetest friend I ever had,

This is very sad to do.

But I must say this,

Darling Ginge,

Goodbye I say to you.

Goodbye to you,

Goodbye for now.

My dear friend,

You will be missed.

But goodbye to you,

Goodbye dear Ginge,

May your spirit live ever on.

There’s still a slight catch in my throat when she’s talked about, but that is improving with time.  I just remember how many memories she made for me, both good and bad, but all amazing.

ginge3                    ginge1

The photo’s couldn’t be big, so please click on them to see them full-sized.

Sue, thank you so much for letting me look after Ginge for you, thank you so, so much.

Thank you Ginge for the memories,

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19 thoughts on “Hardest Post – And I’m Serious

  1. Aw, DABDA. I’m sure you’ll get over it and past through acceptance. I believe in you! Losing someone or something that you really love is really hard, and it will never be easy to forget. But I’m really hoping for you to reach acceptance! x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hey there.
    You’re probably feeling a better about this, right? 🙂
    All I want to say is that we’re all here for you, and I think it’s really sweet that you love your horse so much. ❤ The connections we can have to animals is simply amazing, a horse like yours really shows how these animals become a part of us. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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